


Billiards

by vaetta



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Eavesdropping, Friendship, Humor, Other, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 09:31:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/847981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaetta/pseuds/vaetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an emergency meeting is called, Tessa, Charlotte, and the Shadowhunters of the institute go to wake Will and Jem. However, when they reach Will's bedroom, they hear some... interesting things going on inside. What are Will and Jem doing this time? Set anywhere in the series, just before Jem's sort-of death, when the institute is a big, happy, healthy family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Billiards

"We'll wake Will first." Charlotte frowns and hands Tessa the candle-lamp. Tessa gathers the skirts of her nightgown and hurries after her, promptly followed by Henry, Cecily, Gabriel, Gideon, and Sophie. After receiving new information on the whereabouts of Mortmain, Charlotte called an emergency meeting between the Shadowhunters of the institute. One by one, they were woken, and joined Charlotte to wake the others.

Murmuring anxiously to each other, they turn the corner leading to Will's chambers. Charlotte reaches for the doorknob, but her hand freezes mid-air when a thump reverberates from inside the room, followed by a moaned "Will".

Jem? What is he doing in Will's quarters this late at night? Tessa wonders. She is about investigate when Will's voice sounds from the other side of the door.

"Don't stop, don't stop, come on Jem." Will's voice is breathy.

"This is by far the most physically exerting activity I have partaken in all month," Jem gasps a reply.

Outside, the Shadowhunters glance at each other warily. What, by the angel, are they doing in there?

"I've been waiting too long for this," Will wheezes. "I knew you wanted it too. You were just too stubborn to admit it."

"But what will Tessa make of it? We're engaged! I really ought to tell her what we're doing."

"I do not care what she has to say. What we have is just too good to ignore!" Another thump, and more gasps and moans.

Tessa's eyes widen. Will and… Jem? What are they- ? Are they- ? She turns to the others. Charlotte's mouth is agape, and she is clutching her husband's sleeve with white knuckles. Cecily is opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water.

"Harder, Will. Give it more energy or we'll be here all night!"

"We very well might be." Will chuckles dryly. "I'm going as hard as I can! Oh- wait, here we go, here we go…"

In the hall outside, the Shadowhunters gasp. Shocked, Tessa looks at Gideon, who is standing rigid, his pallor ghostly-pale. Gabriel is trembling with silent snickers, and if poor Henry's face grew any redder, it would surely explode.

"J-Just push it in… No-No! Gently Jem!" Will wheezes.

"Are you certain that it will fit?" Jem pants. "It is so… so big!"

Sophie makes a strangled noise in the back of her throat.

"Do you want to try twisting? Further… Further…. There"

"Finally, I can release." Jem moans a sigh.

There are several more pants, and then: "Oh, wow, that's perfect."

"I told you it would be."

After a couple minutes of silence, Jem speaks up.

" I had better go, before the others realise I'm missing- here, hand me my jacket."

After some shuffling, the sound of footsteps ring out. The door swings open, and a very ruffled- and sweaty- Jem comes face to face with the astonished group of Shadowhunters. Jem blinks.

"Erm… what are you all doing here?" 

For a moment, they are all too paralysed with shock to move. Finally, a grinning Gabriel is able to compose himself enough to speak. "I could ask you the same question."

Jem averts his gaze to the floor, and then opens the door all the way, allowing Tessa and the others to see inside. There, fitted between the wardrobe and the wall, was a large, carefully carved billiard table.

"We were going to tell you," Jem started. "But we feared you would deem it inappropriate for a bedroom,"

"-Which is utterly preposterous" Will interrupted.

Jem glared at him, playfully. "Ever since Will discovered that the old lady who owns the arcade was selling this, he would not cease bothering me about it. We spent the last half an hour carrying it in and setting it up in the right position."

"And it weighed a bloody ton, too!" Will waves his arms exasperation. "It took a million years to fit it into the gap. I am exhausted."

Tessa and the others release the breath they didn't realise they had been holding.

"So, anyhow, that is why I am in Will's room." Drinking in the Shadowhunters' relieved expressions he adds: "What did you think we were doing?"

They blush, and Tessa worries at the sleeve of her nightgown. "Oh- uh, nothing, really. We, um… Charlotte?" Tessa looks pleadingly to the head of the institute.

Charlotte, still several shades too pale, chuckles nervously. "We were planning to have a meeting about Mortmain, but- well… I think it can wait 'till morning. Yes?"

The others nod furiously, and scatter off in the direction of their own rooms, leaving a very confused pair of Parabatai in their wake.


End file.
